I Made My Grandmother Cry

About two and a half weeks before Christmas, my mom mentioned that my grandmother would really like a black hand-knit scarf by moi. Did I mention that it was two and a half weeks before Christmas?

But my grandmother is the best. She's generous to a fault - generous with her time, love, assets. I've only knitted dishcloths for her before this (in my defense, she LOVES hand-knit dishcloths). I had to knit her a scarf.

So I went surfing through Ravelry and picked out the Dagger Lace Scarf from an issue of Knitscene. I figured out that if I did 5 1/2 inches every day I could have it finished by the time she came to visit after Christmas. I knitted on the couch; I knitted in the car; I knitted at my in-law's; I knitted everywhere and all the time. The day before Gram arrived, I had one more lace repeat. Ray occupied the children, and I FINISHED! Blocked it that night, and I finished wrapping it just as she pulled into the driveway.

Then came the suspense: would she like it? Dear Reader, she loved it. She cried. I made my grandmother cry, and it was one of the best moments ever.

Finding Joy Friday: Amelia

Seven years ago, I had no idea how much my life was about to change. No class, book, or other mom's stories could have prepared me for the joy, wonder, and extreme ups and downs of being Amelia's mommy.

Happy early birthday to Amelia Grace.

Finding Joy Friday

Ahem! Let's not talk about how long it's been, shall we?

The last couple of weeks have been filled with Christmas decorating, runny noses, books, books, and more books, sewing, and knitting. All good things, except for the noses.

Today I'm happy because....

Stockings are hung by the chimney with care

Christmas decorations made with love - and sometimes skill - are scattered around home

Presents (with wrapping help from Jack) are under the tree

the KnitWits are so funny (thanks, Amy)

And it's almost time to celebrate our third anniversary here in Auburn

I hope the last few weeks have been joyful ones for you, too.

Finding Joy Friday, Part Deux

Because, really, who doesn't find this hilarious?

Finding Joy Friday

It's quite a list of happiness this week. Let me know what's brought you joy lately.

The goldenrod peeking over the top of the backyard fence.

My sassy girl. I met with her teacher this morning for the fall parent-teacher conference. It's always a joy to hear other adults reaffirm what I already knew about my girl - she's bright, well-behaved and an all-around good kid.

"I do it myself." While I'm not always joyful when Jack utters these four words, it does bring me great pleasure to know that he's mastering important skills like making toast, getting ice and water out of the fridge, and rolling out tortilla dough (ok, this last was a bit tongue in cheek, but he thinks it's very important).

Ray's grace under pressure. It's nice to know that when I'm falling to pieces, Ray is there to pick them up and put them back together with Paleobond, of course.

Going to Pittsburgh and coming back home again.

This lovely post from Amy. And I thought I was the only one.

Finding Joy Friday

Here's a short rundown of what's making me happy happy this week:

Roasted Red Pepper Hummus - super-delicious recipe in the latest issue of Cooking Light.

Black-Eyed Susans and Goldenrod - maybe, just maybe the weather is finally going to turn and fall will arrive. I hope so; it's my favorite season.

Cannonball! - this is what Jack yells as he leaps from pillow mountains. You'd really have to hear a recording to get the full effect.

More artwork from Amelia

Ray's dimples - I love seeing his dimple when he smiles and I love that our son has one in the same place.

What's making you happy?

Beleagured Ken or Mauled Horse - What's a Mom To Do?

Jack and I were building Lincoln Log houses tonight until a dinosaur destroyed the stable and ate the horse alive - again and again. Jack squealed with delight as his plastic dinosaur growled and slobbered (well, if plastic could slobber, this dino would have) over the tiny Lincoln Log horse. Almost incoherent with giggling, my boy would say, "You be the horse, Mama! You be the horse!" Over and over, my little horse would run away from the evil dinosaur only to be caught and devoured.

In the middle of the carnage, I realized that if Amelia and I were playing together, she'd be forcing me to be Ken, the constantly nagged, put-upon husband/boyfriend. (Please God, I hope she's not modeling this on my relationship with Ray. Please.) Sometimes I'm also the "Grandma Barbie" or the babysitter.

If you get right down to it, whatever the kids are playing, I'm getting the worst of it. But you know what, I love it. I really, really do, and not because Barbie's going to banish me to the junkyard (no kidding, this has happened to Ken before) or because I'm going to be eaten alive by a dinosaur.

Finding Joy Friday

What is it about the week after a holiday? We drove up to Birmingham for the weekend and had a nice visit with Ray's parents. But I feel like I've been playing catch-up ever since we got back home.

In the midst of stressing about a messy house, the pile of clothes headed to the consignment sale that still need tags, and other chores, this regular Friday post is a good reminder for me. So, here's a short list of what has made me happy this week:

• Meals in the freezer
• Artwork from both kids
• Hugs
• Slightly cooler weather over Labor Day weekend
• Solo trip to the library
• Knitting (maybe I'll manage a blog post next week about some projects on the needles)

Wishing everyone a sweet and joyful week ahead.

Finding Joy Friday

So what brought you happiness this week?

For me, it was this picture I found on Amelia's bed the other morning. She couldn't sleep and drew it in the middle of the night. Her artwork always makes me smile, but this one was over the top. I'm loving this yellow dress (I don't even own a yellow dress, but maybe I should?). I think the hair color was influenced by her first grade teacher's hair. And the random head with earbuds and iPod - hilarious. You might not be able to see it in the picture, but I have six fingers on each hand. I love that, too.

But what I really love is that in about seven years I can remind her that once, along time ago, she loved my "fashin." How cool is that?

Wishing you many joyful moments in the coming week.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Move on.

On August 29, 2005, I was living in a suburb of Baton Rouge. Ray and I had prepared as best we could for the approaching storm, Hurricane Katrina. We lost power in the early morning and lost a tree later in the day. We heard from folks with generators that it looked like New Orleans had escaped the worst. Then I remember we began hearing reports that the levees had failed. We gathered at a neighbor's house and watched the news coverage on their TV. To say that it was heartbreaking really doesn't scratch the surface.

In the days that followed the storm, rumors flew through Baton Rouge. They ranged from the mundane - was Wal-Mart open yet - to the frightening - a group of marauders was looting the city. The rumors out of New Orleans were all frightening: bodies piling up, raping and murdering in the Convention Center, the risk of cholera, and on and on.

Life began to move on in Baton Rouge, but we were dealing with an infrastructure that was already strained before the storm and was now to the point of bursting with the evacuees. Commute times doubled. Shelves were often bare or barely stocked. Our stress in the Baton Rouge metro area in no way equaled the heartbreak and hardship of those in New Orleans, but when you're in the thick of it, it's kind of hard to see that.

Little did I know that the Fall of 2005 was about to get a whole lot worse for me.

Hurricane Katrina, a new job, Hurricane Rita...my life was hopping and I was just barely keeping up. Then - to keep with the theme of that time - an emotional flood hit and damn near washed everything I knew and loved away: my parents, married for almost 34 years, revealed that they were separating.

At first I foolishly thought, "Oh, this won't bother me and my own little family. I'm a grown up after all." Um, yeah, right. With every personal (and inappropriate) revelation from my parents, the foundations of my world began to crack and then completely fail. So many things I held true and strong were shown to be rotting facades: my parents didn't love each other and the small town that I had thought almost perfect was actually a hotbed of hypocrisy and infidelity. My emotional life pretty much mirrored the devastated, flood-ravaged streets of the Lower Ninth.

Five years later, I'd like to be able to write that I'm completely healed, but I can't. I'm better, though. Like New Orleans, parts of me are whole even if the whole isn't. My own marriage and my commitment to it are stronger than ever. I can read books again. The nightmares are less. I hope New Orleans and I can both say after the next five years, "Oh that? I'm so over it."

For now, I'll follow Jimmy Buffett's advice: Breathe in, breathe out, move on.

Finding Joy Friday

It was such a huge relief to admit my lack of happiness last week, and ever since then, it's been much easier to find joyful things. Here's a quick recap of a few of this week's moments of joy:

Ray air conducting the William Tell Overture. We were driving down to Foley for the weekend, and this came on Ray's play list. He really got into it, and the kids thought it was hilarious.

How happy my friend Erica looked at her bridal shower. Her sisters and sister-in-law put on a great shower with yummy food (I think Amelia hit the food tables no less than five times). Erica looked beautiful and so happy.

Amelia's Curriculum Night at Richland Elementary. No one can top Miss Mangum from last year, but I'm so pleased with Amelia's teacher and impressed with everything they're going to learn this year. It was also really nice to have some alone time with Ray even if it was just going to and from the school.

I'd love to hear what's making you happy this week.

Nature Play

Now that the mornings aren't unbearably hot, Jack and I set out for the Forest Ecology Preserve's Nature Park. If you live in Auburn and haven't been there, you're really missing out. It's fun and shady.

First Jack had to check out the mushrooms. They were beautiful. You can't really see from the picture, but the center was a lovely brown dot with smaller dots running in straight lines from the center. I'm thinking I'd like a swirly skirt that looked like that.


Then Jack was off to the sand pit (big surprise, not really). I love that they have kid-sized shovels, rakes, and hoes. Jack loved it, too. And I squeezed in a little knitting on my Daily Sweater swatch.

We had snack in the tree house and watched ants carry off crumbs as big as they were. Jack's OCD tendencies came out, and he had to clean some sap off the rails.

We climbed into a hut covered with dead branches and slid out the other side, jumped on rocks and climbed over logs. Watched a skink and a lizard and another ant carrying a tiny dead grasshopper (very cool).

Finding Joy Friday (on Thursday)

So, all summer I've been a bit of a mollygump, our family's word for mild depression, ennui, doldrums and general grumpiness. I was not a joyful mommy, and this made me really sad. In all fairness, it probably made everyone around me sad. Then the other morning Ray took the kids to the zoo to give me a break. I decided to write about this joy problem in my languishing blog. At the same time I couldn't get that Lucinda Williams song (you know the one that goes "you took my joy") out of my head. I wrote several whiny paragraphs lamenting the hard work that is managing a home, a husband and children. Then it hit me.

I took my joy. Not Ray or Amelia or Jack or the mind-numbing housework, but me. Ouch.

So with that thought in mind, I'm introducing "Finding Joy Fridays," except that I'm kinda impatient and couldn't wait until Friday.

Here are just a few of the joyful things from this week:

• Amelia suggesting that God was the "line leader" when he led the Israelites out of Egypt.
• Jack's full body slams followed with "I okay, Mama."
• A freshly mopped kitchen floor.
• And the joys of knitting podcasts (because if you can't be knitting, at least you can listen to other people talk about it)

See you next Friday or maybe sooner!

Our Newest Bookworm

To say we are a bookish family is an understatement. All three times Ray and I have moved as married folks, our books far outnumbered everything else (well, everything except for kitchen wares). Before we had kids, I spent a lot of time fantasizing about what books they would like, what we should read together as a family, and on and on. After most of my other daydreams about childbirth and early childhood went out the window, this is the one fantasy that has actually turned into a reality.

Amelia was a "reader" almost from day one. Our 30 to 45-minute one-way commute probably had something to do with it. She started off with the Lamaze cloth books (highly recommend these), and now she loves for me to read chapter books at bedtime.

When Jack came along, I anxiously waited to see how he would take to books. At first, I was worried. He seemed more interested in throwing his books on the ground or using them as leverage to get to something he wasn't supposed to have. But in the last few weeks, he has fallen in love with Skippyjon Jones: Up and Down and Skippyjon Jones: Color Crazy by Judy Schachner and one of Amelia's old favorites, Quick as a Cricket by Audrey and Don Wood. It thrills my soul to have him crawl up on my lap with book in hand and to watch those chubby fingers attempt to turn pages and point at his favorite picture.

So now I'm daydreaming once again about all the boyish and girlish books both he and Amelia will enjoy...Treasure Island, Little Women and Little Men, The Incredible Journey, Nancy Drew and Ray's old Hardy Boys, Misty of Chincoteague and the rest of the Marguerite Henry horse stories, and on and on and on.

I'd love to hear from the rest of you what your favorite books were as kids or what your own kids are reading.

(Quick retail desert update: so far it's going well, but gosh darn! Temptation lurks in my inbox. I never realized how many emails arrive each day from Fabric.com, Amazon, Crate and Barrel, KnitPicks, etc. I've been deleting without reading. If it's on sale right now, it will probably be on sale again one day, right? :-) )

Now Entering the Retail Desert

So I've been thinking about Lent, and what it means to me, and how I wanted to observe it this year. There are always the typical things to give up - chocolate, Diet Coke, swearing - but I felt like I really wouldn't be learning anything from a dietary or verbal deprivation (not that I don't need to be depriving myself of some food!).

Now this may seem like a digression, but bear with me. We get a lot of packages at our house. Ray loves to stay up late and shop eBay for deals on model helicopters, I love to get up early and surf for yarn or books, and our family loves to send the kids packages for every holiday or non-holiday. Last Monday Amelia had a major meltdown because Ray got a package and she didn't. This is the child who has every toy, book, stuffed animal imaginable. That's when I hit upon what to do about Lent. Our family needed to go on a buying fast. The plan is that we only buy items we truly need - food, gas, plants for the garden that we're planning - and we leave off the things that we want, whether they're for our own personal use or for the house.

For the record, I am the only one excited about this. Well, maybe Jack, too, because after all how many frivolous items can a 15-month need? Amelia has warmed up to it after I explained how much fun we can have making things out of the supplies we already have in the craft closet, playing with the toys she already has, etc. Ray's first response was, "Pentecostals don't do Lent." After some cajoling and some Fat Tuesday eBay activity, I think he's on board.

So, I'll report back in about 40 days and let you know how our time in the retail desert has gone.

You Can Go Home Again

When I was sixteen or seventeen, my mother and I drove up to Birmingham to visit UAB’s campus. We were driving around looking for a parking space when I first saw the Honors House. It was an old church repurposed for some sort of classroom. At the time, I didn’t know what for. I just knew that I had to be there. It was a calling as strong as any I’ve ever felt before or after.

As part of the Honors Program, I spent a lot of hours at that old church. I thought deep thoughts, had soul-searching conversations, explored my ideas of race, religion and social justice. Sitting on an old, busted sofa beneath one of the gorgeous stained-glass windows, I kissed my husband for the first time. I played pool and ping-pong. I studied. I lived.

This last weekend Ray and I had the chance to go back to the Honors House for the program’s 25^th anniversary. Things have changed as they always do. There’s a new director and assistant director. The inside of the building has been renovated. The people we knew then have grown up, accepted more responsibilities, had kids, gained weight or lost it, but for those of us who came back – and I suspect for many of those who didn’t – the Honors House and what it stands for still shines like a beacon. Sounds dramatic, I know, but I really mean it. The HP was the closest thing I have ever known to a utopia, and it was absolutely wonderful to be there this weekend.

It was also absolutely wonderful to have an adult weekend. I love the babies, but this was the first time we’ve been away from both kids since we went to Mexico in 2007, and that doesn’t really count because I was pregnant with Jack. But now that he’s weaned (wiping of slightly tearful eye) it was the perfect time to get away. We stayed at the Hotel Highland and lucked out with a spectacular room – top floor with views of Five Points, the Vulcan and UAB. To top it all off, I got to have dinner at Surrins with my old college roommates.

Now it’s back to reality!

This Moment in Time

I just saw this post over at Amy's Ignore Me - It's Easier and thought it would be fun to do.

1.	What is your occupation right now?	Homemaker
2.	What color are your socks right now?	Not wearing any, but the ones I'm knitting are red, gray, and white
3.	What are you listening to right now?	The hum of the refrigerator
4.	What was the last thing that you ate?	a bowl of granola
5.	Can you drive a stick	You really don't want me to unless it's an emergency
6.	Last person you spoke to on the phone?	My sister Allison
7.	Do you like the person who sent this to you?	Absolutely! Amy and her blog are fabulous!
8.	How old are you today?	33
9.	What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?	baseball
10.	What is your favorite drink?	ice water or a diet coke
11.	Have you ever dyed your hair?	nope
12.	Favorite food?	fried shrimp from my Gram
13.	What is the last movie you watched?	The Rescuers
14.	Favorite day of the year?	The first day of the first cold/cool front in the fall
15.	How do you vent anger?	shout or throw things (talk about embarrassing)
16.	What was your favorite toy as a child?	my bicycle
17.	What is your favorite season?	fall
8.	Cherries or Blueberries?	cherries!
19.	Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?	sure :-)
20.	Who is the most likely to respond?	?
21.	Who is least likely to respond?	?
22.	Living arrangements?	very settled
23.	When was the last time you cried?	this morning
24.	What is on the floor of your closet?	My closet has a floor?
25.	Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to?	?
26.	What did you do last night	Took dinner to a friend and her new baby
27.	What are you most afraid of	bad news
28.	Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?	spicy
29.	Favorite dog breed?	Labrador retriever
30.	Favorite day of the week?	Thursday
31.	How many states have you lived in?	two
32.	Diamonds or pearls?	pearls
33.	What is your favorite flower?	black-eyed susans

The Laundry is Greener

This week our laundry has gone green, and I must confess not by my choosing! Over the weekend the dryer light blew taking the starter switch with it. The repair guy says that the parts will be here NEXT week. I did not kill the messenger although I was sorely tempted.

So, faced with the choice of taking baskets of wet clothes and two small children to the laundromat or hanging a clothesline, I chose the later. Wednesday afternoon Ray hung a nine-foot retractable clothesline catty-corner along the fence in the backyard. Lesson No. 1: nine feet is not enough. Now I know why my Aunt Linda had a double clothesline that was probably 20 feet long. Lesson No. 2: there's no need to completely fill my front-loading super-big washer. Lesson No. 3: wash the clothes that are going to take the longest to dry first.

All grousing aside, it is kind of peaceful to hang clothes out and then take them back in. And the weather is absolutely gorgeous right now. It's probably the perfect weather for hanging out clothes - sunny with just enough wind.

While I'm hanging out the clothes, I feel connected to women who have come before me and raised children and took care of their families with far less than I have. Of course, will I be thrilled when the dryer is finally fixed? You betcha!

Fun for Nothing

After spending all day cooped up thanks to Tropical Storm Fay, Ray and the kids and me struck out for Monkey Park. In true southern fashion, Monkey Park is really named Municipal Park, but in the almost nine months that we've been here, I've yet to hear anyone call it by that name. And before you ask, yes, there really were monkeys there back in the '60s and '70s, but my long-time Auburn-Opelika friends say that the monkeys were removed after folks gave them inappropriate food and cigarette butts (of all things!).

The kids like Monkey Park because it has four or five different play areas. I like it because some of their equipment is vintage 1970s or earlier, so it reminds me of the park where I played with my sisters. Plus, there's a tiny stream that runs through the middle of the park. I love streams, especially little streams with rocks where the water bubbles over them. How wonderful is that?!

Before our quest for free fun had barely begun, excitement struck. Just as we were heading out from the parking lot, we heard C-RRR-AAAA-CK followed by loud crashing. Right across the street from the park, a branch fell on top of a van. Only a few minutes later, an old, ragged out Mecury Cougar came through the parking lot barely missing our van, jumped the curb, ran over a small tree, turned, jumped the curb and came to a stop. As soon as we recovered from that excitement, a stray dog arrived, and a fellow park-goer commenced to chase it with a 10-foot limb. The dog had the good sense to flee.

In between all this craziness the kids did have fun. Jack tried out and loved the toddler swings, and he and Amelia had a go at the bouncy seesaw. She had to ride this the "princess way," which to us mere peasants is side saddle.


With the return of the rain, I borrowed a craft from SouleMama's The Creative Family and got Amelia started on "sewing" around pictures we drew, cut out and hole punched. She was so proud and promptly requested more pictures and yarn.

That Wild and Crazy Jungle Animal

There are the flesh and blood members of our family, and then there is Baby Jaguar.

Serendipity brought her into our lives. Back when Amelia was two, Baby Jaguar appeared in her day care cubbie on a daily basis. I would dutifully place the stuffed animal back on the shelf until finally her teacher told me that Baby Jaguar was Amelia's, that Amelia slept with her at every nap.

I don't know who Baby Jaguar originally belonged to, but to Amelia she's as much a family member as Jack or Ray.

Baby Jaguar is patient. She endures all sorts of costumes and indignities with patience. Her whiskers have been cut off (Baby Jaguar didn't like them according to the amateur stylist). She has been accidentally peed on and subsequently "bathed" in the washing machine. Baby Jaguar gets tucked in just like her little human mommy.

But just when I begin to forget that Baby Jaguar is just a stuffed animal, Amelia reels me in. "Mom," she'll say after I've told Baby Jaguar sweet dreams and sleep tight, "It's just pretend."